Tarbiyah of our children

By: Ummu Abdir Rahman
Al-Ihsaan Institute

Tarbiyah is the art of training our human natures appropriately at various levels and in different situations to help in the complete growth of a person’s disposition. In this article we will discuss tarbiyah of our children from an educational perspective.

The following are some practices, which if adopted, would instill a proper routine and method of assisting our children in their school work as well as Maktab and madrasa learning In-sha-Allah.

1. For the sake of Allah – Teach your children that everything they do should be done for the pleasure and love of Allah Subhaana wa Ta’ala, in such a way they would not develop of seeking pride over their actions. Rather, their love would grow towards doing actions for Allah’s acceptance, charity, good deeds and humility. This is a discipline which many adults lack. Therefore to have your child grow up with the mind-set and values of seeking Allah’s pleasure in everything, is a foundation every parent would want for the success of their children.

2. Set an example: speaking properly –Children are likely to imitate the parents in their behaviour whether that behaviour is unhealthy, damaging or decent, uprigh
   t and well-behaved. The minds of children are like sponges, in that they absorb quickly and plentiful. One important aspect to give attention to is that of speaking properly,
   with proper grammar and etiquette. If this is implemented from an early age then it makes it easy for your child to adopt grammar skills as well as to display proper mannerism.

3. Encourage Reading – Make it a house rule to spend some time reading together whether it is Ta’leem, reading from a book of hadith, learning duas, surah, learning about the stories of the Prophets or Sahabah etc. In this way your child will learn that:
   1. Reading is important and should be encouraged.
   2. Family time is something to cherish and make an effort towards.
   3. The topic being read is important and to be practiced upon.
   4. There are many lessons that can be learnt from different situations.
   5. Books are a respectable source of knowledge which we learn from.

4. Parents should be involved – When parents keep a positive interest in their child’s schooling, we find the child grasping the many concepts and subjects being taught at school better. Subsequently, they excel at learning. Parents being involved means helping with homework, revision, supervision as well as spending quality time with them. It is particularly important to spend some time doing revision of the day’s lessons to reiterate the concepts learnt, for a better understanding and memorization.

5. Proper Time Management – children need predictability, structure and guidelines, as these give them a sense of security and order in the world. By having a routine and time for different things the child would understand that the world is not to be lived in an unruly manner, but there are guidelines and directions to be followed.
   1. Bedtime – Setting and following a bedtime routine allows sufficient time for the child to rest and rejuvenate for the events of the next day. Without a proper bedtime, we find that children tend to become sleepy and lethargic during the school day. So much so, that learning becomes decelerated and attending school becomes laborious and exhausting for the child.
   2. Morning Routine – So too, in having a morning routine, the child understands that there is a certain order and time for things to be accomplished. Thus creating a manner of discipline from an early age. The school day is scheduled by order and allotted times, therefore the concept would not be foreign to the child, but instead, they would be already accustomed to organisation and orderliness.

6. Extra-Curricular Activities – Get your children involved in after school programs or even weekend programs such as Maktab, exercise, reading club, outdoor sports etc. so that their time is not spent doing unproductive things like watching television or playing video games. Encourage them to become active, thereby working their brains as well as their bodies. This will help them to lead a healthier lifestyle whilst using the favours they have received from Allah Ta’ala beneficially. In that way, they will be able to focus and concentrate better at school and for learning on a whole.

These are just a few guidelines to assist us in making the Tarbiyah of our children a bit easier, whilst executing our duties as parents and eventually reap utmost reward from our Creator In-sha-Allah. May Allah Subhaana wa Ta’ala give us the ability and the guidance to fulfil the rights of our children upon them. Ameen….