This is a common Caribbean slang that can be considered an oxymoron. “Plain talk” is not a bad thing, provided it’s done in the right way. For Trinidadians however, the culture of plain talk bad manners often goes way beyond the bounds of Islamic social etiquette. In Islam, your character is an identifying trait that makes you stand out from others. More importantly, it is a measure of the goodness of a person.
The Prophet ﷺ, said, “Nothing is heavier upon the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the vulgar and obscene.” (Tirmidhī)
Trini culture is vulgar. There’s no denying that this has been an issue for generations, especially with the dawn of the new age of nudity, alcohol, liming, partying and gyrating in the streets for Carnival. No solution has yet been produced for this problem, though attempts have been made. “Prime Minister Patrick Manning is to engage with the inter-religious organisation to come up with suggestions to at least curb what they consider vulgar aspects of the masquerade.” – BBC Caribbean, 2006.
As ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (RA) has famously said: “Take account of yourselves before you are brought to account (on the Day of Judgment).” Every person should engage in deep self-reflection in every aspect of their lives. Their beliefs, their family life, their social life, and their livelihood should be under constant improvement. A Muslim is never stagnant.
While most Muslims make a conscious effort to stay away from open vulgarity, how many of us indulge in other aspects of Trini culture with little thought for how this affects us as Muslims? Do we recognize our inability to maintain social Islamic manners and etiquette?
Many of the common behaviours of Trinbagonians are not becoming of a dignified society, and certainly do not conform with what our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ outlined for us as acceptable behaviour. While it is impossible to address all of the issues, a few pertinent ones will be highlighted as food for thought.
“Nobody cyah tell meh what to do!”
-Said Ramesh, while being directed by a police officer.
We as a Trinbagonian society have little respect for authority and far less for the laws of the land. Mixed in with shamelessness and a general lack of accountability, this is the recipe for a lawless society. The quality of arrogance – believing that no one is above you – is catastrophic and its destruction is devastating. This evil trait might be commonplace in Trinbagonian culture but is rooted in the volatile trait of kibr (pride) which was the sin of Shayṭān. Furthermore, being subject to criticism is something an arrogant person hates. They are dismayed by the idea of damage to their prestige. When told that they have made an error, rather than solving the problem, they focus on absolving themselves of any blame. The plight of such people is highlighted in the Qur’ān: “Enter the gates of hell to abide in it eternally, evil is the final destination of the arrogant.” (39:72)
“Doh study he. He too dotish!”
-Said Marlon, after being asked about putting his garbage in the neighbour’s yard.
It is a norm in Trinidad that when we disagree with someone’s actions, we very quickly turn to ‘character assassination’. Rather than weighing out the pros and cons of a certain action, logic goes out the window and we start attacking the person themselves. We bring up unrelated things they have done in the past to undermine the person’s character, believing that by making ourselves look better, we will be perceived as being right. The problem often goes unsolved. Going around needlessly destroying peoples’ character and advertising their faults is detrimental to society and completely against Islamic etiquette.
“Whoever conceals the (hidden) fault of his Muslim brother, Allah (SWT) will conceal his faults on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever exposes the fault of his Muslim brother, Allah will expose his faults, until He shames him, due to it, in his (own) house.” (Ibn Majah)
“Yuh get so fat since last time ah see yuh!”
-Said Aminah, after inserting herself into a conversation.
While there is something to be said for speaking plainly, this is plainly insulting. Derogatory comments casually disguised as friendly small talk are the norm in T&T. It is not acceptable to make unconstructive negative comments toward people. “Long time I eh see yuh. You does only call me when you need something.” These types of thoughtless remarks can leave a person in emotional upheaval for days and some of us will never know the damaging impact of our actions. If one intends to correct someone, there is an etiquette to be followed in reforming people. Being “boldfaced” does not fall within those bounds. Instead, the words of the Prophet ﷺ should be taken into account, “Let the one who believes in Allah and the Last Day speak good or remain silent.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī)
“Ah jus dey relaxing.”
-Said Mark, after relaxing for the entire year.
Trinidad and Tobago has been named the happiest Caribbean country. Whether this is due to genuine happiness, or a complete lack of work ethic remains to be seen. From prioritising partying and drinking to skiving off work on rainy days, Trinbagonians’ poor work ethics have reached crisis proportions. Educators and sociologists have suggested that part of the problem has to do with the home and society. Islam as a whole pushes Muslims towards a disciplined and productive lifestyle. Islam promotes focus, purpose and ambition, and no Muslim should be stagnant in their deen, their livelihood or any other aspect of their lives.
The solution:
Studies show that a culture shock is the only way to create full societal reform. There are, however, progressive ways to start improving moral and ethical codes, and it starts with you. Below are four simple and effective ways to create the change needed in society:
The Prophet ﷺ left behind a comprehensive code of behaviour that all Muslims should make effort to learn about. Through training and implementation of the Prophetic advice, we as a society need to continuously improve ourselves.
We need to incorporate self-introspection and sincere du’ā for Allah to rectify our affairs. A simple du’ā by the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
اللَّهُمَّ وَاهْدِنِي لأَحْسَنِ الأخْلَاقِ، لا يَهْدِي لأَحْسَنِهَا إلَّا أَنْتَ، وَاصْرِفْ عَنِّي سَيِّئَهَا، لا يَصْرِفُ عَنِّي سَيِّئَهَا إلَّا أَنْتَ
خرجه مسلم في الصحيح
Allahumma ahdinī li-aḥsani ‘l-akhlāqi, lā yahdī li aḥsanihā illā anta. Waṣrif `annī sayyi’ahā, lā yaṣrifu `annī sayyi’ahā illā anta.
O Allah guide me to the best of characters for none can guide to it other than You, and deliver me from the worst of characters for none can deliver me from it other than You.
A highly effective propellent of culture change is creating a positive environment. Our environment and the people who surround us have a powerful impact on the way we behave. We must ensure that we keep ourselves in the company of righteous and well-mannered people.
Lastly, we must adopt the practice of tazkiyyah. Constant purification of our hearts and nafs is fundamental in the relationship of a Muslim with his Lord.
By following this advice, we can truly transform ourselves, add weight to our scales, and leave behind a legacy worth remembering.