It is the first week of Ramaḍān and you’re on a roll! You haven’t missed a Taraweeh, prayed all of the sunnah (voluntary) salāh and you’ve managed to read a portion of the Qur’ān every single day. But, as the middle of the second week draws near, you find your resolve waning. “I’m too tired, I’ve got too much to get done, tomorrow I’ll do it…” And suddenly by the middle of the month, you’ve totally fallen off the train. Well…you’re not the only one.
“Consistency is key,” they say, “a little bit every day goes a long way.” You’re made to believe that this is something so simple and easy. And yet for you, this is a hurdle you can’t get past. You see people all around you achieving their goals, seemingly effortlessly. You start to wonder if you’re just “not that type.”
I’ll tell you a secret though: consistency is not a personality trait. Like many things, it is a behaviour that can be learned. All you have to do is actively apply a few strategies and in no time you’ll develop this ability. So without further ado, let me give you the 5 ‘keys’ to consistency.
1- Plan!
Many people make the mistake of waiting until Ramaḍān to start implementing a whole variety of Sunnah acts. This is the surest way to get burned out and give up before the month properly begins. Well before the month of Sha’bān, you should have a plan in place of how to start building habits that will last you throughout the month of Ramaḍān. The Prophet ﷺ said in a ḥadīth recorded in Shu’ab ul Īmān,
There is no intelligence like planning…
If at this point you haven’t made any preparations, don’t give up and click out of the article! Focusing on self-improvement during the month of Ramaḍān is an ‘ibādah in itself. There’s still time for you to spend the month improving so that you can reap the rewards of it during Ramaḍān and beyond. Go ahead and pick some clear goals for the month, whether it’s doing more dhikr or learning a new sūrah every week. Then start planning, making a timetable, etc. You can even research strategies and ‘hacks’ to help you on your way. There are 1.8 billion Muslims in the world. You’re not on your own.
2- Moderation
The all-or-nothing mentality has been known to kill many dreams. Human beings are not wired to accept sudden changes. No one understood this better than our beloved Rasūl ﷺ. He is recorded in Saḥīḥ al-Bukhārī to have said, “…So be moderate in your religious deeds and do what is within your ability…” Rather than going from one extreme to another, instead we should apply the wisdom of this ḥadīth by slowly introducing things into our routine and increase them in increments until we reach the desired amounts. The same is to be applied to things that we want to remove from our routine. While there is a lot to be said for the cold turkey method, if we intend to stay away from something for any length of time then we must slowly cut down on it while replacing it with something more beneficial.
Your plan should involve a method of introducing different good habits at different times. This makes the goals more realistic and allows you to progress without becoming overwhelmed. Different goals also require different plans. Take, for example, you may aim to pray all 12 sunnah salāh every day. A good plan might be to start with one. At the end of every day, ensure that you have incorporated it somewhere in your routine, if not with the first salāh then at least in the last. Check your progress over time. When you can easily complete this task without skipping any days, then change your goal to two per day. If you feel you can easily complete two or three per day then start with that. However, maybe you also want to work on doing a certain amount of istighfār (utterances of seeking forgiveness) at the same time, so you’ll need to set a plan and track progress for that too. The most important thing is not to bombard yourself and then become discouraged when you can’t meet goals that were unachievable in the first place.
3- Accountability
Now that you have your plan, what’s to keep you ‘motivated’ to fulfil your daily tasks? I’m going to share another secret: Motivation is overrated. While it has been known to bring about amazing things, motivation (unfortunately) comes and goes. It needs to be constantly fed and renewed. Anyone who relies on this long-term is setting themselves up for failure.
Accountability is what gets the job done. Many times we find ourselves making feeble excuses for skipping our tasks. “It’s not a good time, I’m too tired from work, I have no inspiration…” While these could be very valid excuses, imagine explaining to a friend why you were too busy to pray 2 sunnah rak’āt (a voluntary prayer). See what I’m getting at? Find a friend who will follow up on your tasks and you can do the same for them. You’ll see how much harder it is to make excuses when someone else has to listen to them. Other options of this nature can include joining a Qurān group to ensure you complete your juz (a portion of the Qurān). If you intend to pray more of your farḍ (compulsory) salāh in the mosque, then join a group of friends who already go. If you want to learn Tafseer (explanation of the Qurān) or learn to read the Qurān then join a class. All of these things introduce an element of accountability and make it more difficult to just give up on the task. Some of these steps may seem a bit unnecessary but according to statistics, most people give up on their New Year resolutions by January 19th! Still think sticking a schedule on the wall is extreme?
4- Reward yourself!
Rewards reinforce positive behaviour. It doesn’t have to be something grand or expensive. It can be enjoying an hour of something that you enjoy. Sleep in late a bit. Take an early break. Have your favourite meal. It can be simply keeping a list of tasks that you tick off at the end of the day. After a while, the disappointment you feel having to leave something unticked is a great motivator in itself. Be careful though! If your goal was to pray all 5 farḍ salāh, don’t reward yourself by taking a break from them! The point is to congratulate yourself on a job well done without negating the progress you’ve made.
5- Learn from your mistakes!
Self-reflection is essential for our general well-being. We should be able to look at ourselves objectively and understand who we are, and why we think and act the way we do. So, get to know your weaknesses. Identify the things that hamper your progress and start setting boundaries to keep you from these pitfalls. If you know that you get caught up checking your phone every minute, then simply leave your phone outside when you are completing a task. If your problem is forgetting to do your tasks then set alarms. If you tend to give up on your goals after a while then try to keep them in a place where you remember them and plan your day around them. Some people have trouble praying Salātul ‘Aṣr on time because that tends to be the time people are coming home from work, picking up the kids, preparing dinner, etc. Plan your tasks around that salāh rather than trying to squeeze it in somewhere. Eg: I’ll pick up the kids, pray Aṣr at home, then head back out to the grocery and I should be back home in time for Maghrib.
Bonus tip: Because you’ve stuck with me this far, I’ll throw in something practical and straightforward to implement: Skip once but don’t skip twice. After you’ve achieved these goals long-term, you’ll realise that there are genuine cases where you may need to skip a task. It is part of a healthy mindset to know when something should take priority over another. Maybe you have a habit of giving charity, but one week you have a doctor’s appointment, so you decide to cancel your weekly bank transfer to your usual charitable organisation. It’s a small donation, so it doesn’t really affect your ability to pay for your appointment, but you do it out of precaution. But how long should you withhold your contributions? Herein lies the problem: sometimes the lines can become blurred and you end up kicking a habit you’ve kept up for years, all because you couldn’t figure out how much was acceptable. A good rule of thumb is, if you have a good reason, you can skip something once but don’t skip a second time. If you leave off tahajjud one day, don’t miss it the second day. You might have to miss it the third day but make sure to pray it on the fourth day. Or let’s say you make it a habit to not speak about others in their absence and one day someone asks you if a certain person is suitable for marriage. This is an acceptable reason to discuss someone behind their back, but don’t turn one conversation into two, otherwise, you may fall back into the habit of backbiting.
I’ve now shared with you my tried and true tips for developing consistency. Armed with these strategies and the determination to make the best of this blessed month, go forth and be the best version of yourself! And if you find yourself falling short of inspiration just remember the words of the Prophet ﷺ recorded in Saḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, “the most beloved deed in the sight of Allah is the one most regular and constant even if it were little.”
Aalimah Noorie K. Khan