Modesty is a widely used term nowadays. It is often misinterpreted as just the feelings of shyness or shame one has. Everyone has their own opinion of what being modest is, and they try to brag about their levels of modesty while looking down upon others. Let us look what Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) have to say.

The term modesty is referred to in the Quran in the following verses:

‘‘Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.”
(Surah An- Nur 24:30)

”And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.”(Surah An-Nur 24:31)

”O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness – that is best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember.’‘(Surah Al-A’raf 7:26)

As Muslims, we have to constantly be in touch with our own haya (modesty) and make sure we are not displeasing Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) in any way. It is mentioned in a hadith:

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And haya (This term “haya” covers a large number of concepts which are to be taken together; amongst them are self-respect, modesty, bashfulness, and scruple, etc.) is a part of faith.” (Sahih Bukhari Book #2, Hadith #8)

Therefore, haya is not just feeling shy in front of someone; it consists of many other aspects which can be achieved by assessing ourselves in the following points:

Haya in the way we dress

Dress is perhaps the most widely thought of in terms of modesty. Dressing up in the right way as commanded by Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) plays a major role in boosting our imaan as well as bringing us closer to Him. There are many instances in which people feel close to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) by just covering themselves modestly. One thing we need to be wary of, and avoid, in terms of the way we dress is boastfulness and/or vanity. We must be careful that we are dressing modestly for the right reasons – our intentions must be sound.

Haya in what we watch/read

We should be wary of what we watch on the television or read in media outlets. Television is the number one source of immodesty followed by books. You can find a number of shows and books that deal with immodest topics. So, look at the type of shows you are watching, and the kind of books you are reading. Are they immodest? Are they causing you to lose your sense of shamefulness?

Haya in what we say

The way we speak is also a part of Haya. The words we use and our tone matter a lot. The present trend is to use immodest words when expressing either happiness or grief, which is picking up fast; sadly, it is now taking effect in the Muslim community. Do you use such words? Do not forget that every word you speak is going to testify for/against you on the day of judgement!

Haya in how we treat others

Since childhood, we are taught to treat others with respect and kindness. But do we really follow that? ‘Treat others like you would want to be treated’ is perhaps the best policy which one can follow to maintain this aspect of Haya.

– Haya in the friends we choose

Yes, your circle of friends does matter a lot! A person is more likely to follow what his friends do, as well as believe. Be careful when it comes to maintaining close friendships with people. Ask yourself if this is the type of person you want to be, or want to be seen with?

Haya in the places we go

In addition to the way we speak, dress, and behave, the places we visit are just as important in maintaining our haya. Are the places we visit reminders of all the forbidden or haraam things? Or are they havens of the right kind of places? Reflect.

Haya in what we do

Haya in what we do amongst people is as important as Haya in front of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Our actions when in public and in private should reflect piety and obedience to Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala).

Another hadith which mentions Haya is :

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar: The Prophet passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya and was saying, “You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you.” On that, Allah’s Apostle said, “Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of Faith.”
(Sahih Bukhari Book #73, Hadith #139)

Haya brings only good. It can either make or break one’s eeman. It will guide one towards peace of mind. Here is praying that the muslim ummah all over the world finds it easy to be modest! Ameen!
Almighty Allah knows best

Source: jamiat.org.za

Assalaamu Alaikum,
Our bi-monthly gathering is here again, just in time to help you prepare spiritually and practically for Ramadhaan, it will be held this Sunday 28th April & you don’t want to miss it!

Click this link now to register, you certainly won’t regret it: http://www.alihsaan.org/womens-bi-monthly/

Details are as follows:
• Theme: My Practical Ramadhaan ? ?
• Informal discussions & activities
• A Women’s only event
• Light refreshments
• Time: 1:15 pm – 3:15 pm
• Date: Sunday 28th April 2019
• Venue: Nur-e-Islam Masjid -Rm 9 Cor Farouk Ave. & El Socorro Road San Juan
• Contact: 610-0089 / 471-5390 / 485-5217
We hope to see you soon and don’t forget to invite your fellow sisters (and get them to register)!

This session will be hosted in collaboration with the Nur-e-Islam Masjid every two months, so look out for the next one

Register below:

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, , This Thing Called Parenting…

 

I’m looking for the manual— you know the one that tells you all about how to raise a kid?

Okay, so there’s no instruction booklet for raising children, but there’s still a responsibility to use all the resources we have, right? I’m the least qualified to be handing out parenting tips (I’m not even a parent!) but over the years, I’ve learnt a lot. So, here’s my tuppence worth.7b67f60b3ddcc9279a46b270fd2e16f68d99998d

  1. Duaa

First is a given. Never, ever, ever, underestimate
the power of Duaa. Making Duaa for your children even before you have them is the best place to start. What’s better, the Duaas are already in the Quraan and what more beautiful Duaas are there than the ones made by previous Prophets, who were friends of Allah ﷻ, for their own children? Be consistent in making Duaa for your children even if you think it’s trivial (full marks in exams?). And, if you really want something, then don’t miss Tahajjud Salah. If you don’t wake up to ask Allah ﷻ, The Most High, when He’s descended to the lowest heavens to listen to us, then you don’t really want it.

  1. Use the Manual we DO have!

Parenting is not something new and parents have had to adapt their methods and skills according to the generation of children. The Quraan and Sunnah are our guides so use this priceless tool! If you’re still unsure about certain things and how to go about them Islamically, speak to your local Imam for advice. We cannot ignore the Hadith about starting children praying at seven and then at fifteen, when our teenager would rather watch football than catch the last ten minutes of Asr, suddenly lash out at them about how hot the fire of Jahannam will be! There is wisdom in every command ordained upon this Ummah from Allah ﷻ and His Rasul ﷺ so let’s put our full trust in them.

If your child was to ask you a question, or ask for advice, open the Quraan and Sunnah with them and advise them through the lives of the Sahabah and Prophets (upon them all be peace). Let’s teach them to rely on our two greatest tools in every aspect of their lives.

  1. Role Model

You are your child’s very first iconic figure from the moment they are born. Children inherently absorb so many things parents don’t even mean for them to. They listen and see everything.  What they see is what they will do and to tell them, “Do as I say and not as I do,” is simply not good enough. If you pray where your child can see you, then soon enough they will mimic your movements even if they’re too young to understand what they’re doing. How happy my Nabi ﷺ would be to see such a sight! Take them to the Masjid from a young age and let them love being there! You are their focal point and their world when they are younger and they want to be just like you when they grow up (they usually change their minds later), so teach them through modelling everything you can whilst it lasts!

  1. Environment

Parents cannot create an environment of television, free-mixing etc., and then expect their children to be the Awliyaa of Allah ﷻ. C’mon, let’s get real. The environment parents raise their children in has to be conducive to raising strong leaders of the Ummah and plays one of the biggest roles in their upbringing. Get rid of your filthy magazines from your shelves and your music CD collections (no matter how rare of a collector’s item they are, they go). Create a routine where no one leaves the house without reciting some Quraan and make that a habit that they inculcate within them for the rest of their lives. Have a bookshelf in every room with age-suitable Islamic books for them to read. There’s enough reputable Islamic literature out there for everyone! Engage with them, learn with them and make it fun! Set aside a daily five minutes’ Halaqah and select a Hadith to talk about; have a weekly Prophet’s story time and make it exciting; have them research a topic and present it to the family as a weekend project. There is so much to do and to keep children busy no matter how old they are!

They must also feel safe. Being good parents doesn’t just mean catering to their physical needs, providing food and a roof over their heads. Parenting is so, so much more. If your child had an issue (and teenagers have an endless list of those), who is the first person they would turn to? Would it be you? Really? You want it to be you, but have you created an environment and relationship where they’d feel comfortable talking to you without having you lashing out some horrible punishment or rebuking them to the point where they’d never speak about another issue ever again? If parents can’t guide, then who will? Be their friend, their guide, their mentor, but draw the line. You’re the parent and if they forget that sometimes, remind ‘em who’s boss.

  1. Be Just

Children are quick to notice how their siblings are being treated in comparison to themselves and once they’ve established there’s some form of favouritism going on, it doesn’t end well. Never, ever favour any of your children over another. In simpler terms, the eldest doesn’t get the stick all the time and the youngest doesn’t have first dibs at everything, neither through any fault of their own. This way, we’re also teaching them to be fair in every matter in their lives. That also includes gender inequalities. Yes, their roles are different so we approach them differently but there can still be equality in different ways.

  1. Never compare your children to anyone else’s

That’s not even fair. Your child is unique and their abilities are different. Face it, you’re never going to have a perfect child. Where they excel in some aspects, they’ll need polishing in others, but that doesn’t make them any less worthy than the Ahmeds’ kid next door. Your child’s abilities must be celebrated and praised and then watch them naturally flourish through your encouragement. Don’t create a bitter resentment in them by comparing them to their friends. They are different so
Get.
Over.
It.

  1. Show some love!

Yes, you wouldn’t feed them and clothe them and pay the bills if you didn’t love them (blah, blah), but is it really going to kill you to say the three words? In such a promiscuous world, wouldn’t you rather they heard them from you than (ummm) someone else? If you don’t explicitly show them, they’ll look for someone who will. Be generous in your affection towards them and for God’s sake, kiss your children. Remember the Hadith about the bedouin with ten children? Exactly.

Discipline them, but follow it up later with some kind words. You can text the world, but your own child? Surprise them with a text at any random time everyday and see how you light up their world (really!). With constant naggings and telling offs, your child needs to know that at the end of it all, you really do love them.

I could go on and on, but these are my top seven I think! May Allah ﷻ grant us all offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes and give us the Tawfeeq as parents or when we become parents InshaaAllah, who emulate every aspect of the lives of the Prophets and Sahaabahs (upon them all be peace) before us.

May our sons have the faith of Ismaeel Ibn Ibraheem (A), may their bravery equate to the likes of Khalid Ibn Waleed (R), and may they emulate the modesty of Uthmaan Ibn Affaan (R).

May our daughters love like Khadijah Bint Khuwaylid (R), may they be as steadfast as Aasiyah Bint Muzahim (A), and may their strength be of Maryam Bint Imraan (A).

Parents and non-parents alike, I would love to read your top tips in the comments below InshaaAllah!

Zainab Bint Husain

, , , , The Romantic Prophet (P.B.U.H)?

 bisous-pebbles-1-sexy-gostaffo-red-tarun87-little-of-everything-longhand-hanks-faves-kaw-valentine-love-_largeHow to be romantic with your spouse

BY: 

As the days come to closer to one’s marriage, excitement, ecstasy and elation pump through the bride and groom.  The build up to marriage is an experience of thrill and jubilation.  When the marriage is solemnised, one’s happiness and delight is on the verge of brimming and tipping over.  When the newlywed couple meet for the first time, words cannot describe the sweetness, bliss, serenity, pleasure and elation tasted by the two. Read more

, , Mixed Gatherings: A Detailed Response Regarding Gender Interaction

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Question: Can you please comment on the permissibility of mixed social gatherings and whether its allowed as far as guys and girls going out together that are just friends to dinner or other places?

Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-KawthariAnswer:

“And We reveal of the Qur’an that which is a healing and a mercy for believers though it increase the evil-doers in naught save ruin.”

(Qur’an, 17:82)

“We sent you (O Prophet!) not except as a mercy for all people.”

(Qur’an,21:107) Read more

How does a woman fulfill her relationship with Allah Most High, and at the same time, also serve the community?

There are many extremes in this. For example, some people believe that women should not be educated at all; that they should be kept completely ignorant so that they don’t know anything beyond the basics of their faith. This is completely rejected by our deen. Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi, for example, compiled the famous work Bahishti Zewar and aimed it particularly toward women. The comprehensiveness of the book suggests it is a work that ought to live on the bookshelf of every home and used as a guidance for every aspect of a woman’s (and indeed her family’s) life. Indeed, such is the usefulness of the book that it is not uncommon to find muftis using Bahishti Zewar as a reference point nowadays.

There is the other extreme, too. Read more

The Women’s Mosque of America has started operations in Los Angeles. It is not a mosque per se, but the name of a non-profit organization. It began with holding female only Jumuah prayers, in an old synagogue with Stars of David etched on the stained glass windows. The decision to use this venue was made to “promote peace.”

Creating a separate space for Muslim women is a noble idea. Unfortunately the organizers chose the one event for this project for which it has no basis in the Shariah. Muslim women are not required to offer Jumuah. Read more

Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque in Muscat -  Oman (carpet)

The Prophet’s Marriage to Aisha
By: Mawlana Muhammad Hashim

Unfamiliarity with the life of the Prophet of Islam, his character and teachings and his native culture and the social conditions prevalent during his life can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. A common area of misunderstanding is the subject of the Prophet’s marriages, especially his marriage to Aisha.
At the time of her marriage, Aisha was six, and at the age of nine she started living with the Prophet. Unfamiliarity with this course of events can be resolved to some degree by studying the relevant aspects of the lives of the lives of the Prophet and Aisha, and by learning a bit about cultural norms of the time. Read more

Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque in Muscat -  Oman (carpet)

The Prophet’s Marriage to Aisha
By: Mawlana Muhammad Hashim

Unfamiliarity with the life of the Prophet of Islam, his character and teachings and his native culture and the social conditions prevalent during his life can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. A common area of misunderstanding is the subject of the Prophet’s marriages, especially his marriage to Aisha.
At the time of her marriage, Aisha was six, and at the age of nine she started living with the Prophet. Unfamiliarity with this course of events can be resolved to some degree by studying the relevant aspects of the lives of the lives of the Prophet and Aisha, and by learning a bit about cultural norms of the time. Read more

The House Wife, a Stay at Home Mom… A Taboo Topic?
By: Mufti Abraar Alli

What kind of bee are you? Ever pondered over the remarkable role of bees and how Allah Ta’ala creates honey from the union of the queen and worker bees? Well we should ponder, if we haven’t!! The job spec of the queen bee and the worker bee is uniquely defined, each creature has a different objective. We won’t try to change the nature and responsibilities of wild untamed bees, then why would we try to change that of the cultivated forms of existence, i.e. we, the humans? Read more