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No Child is a Write-Off
“No child should be left behind.” – Words often spoken but rarely come to fruition. The following is an article by Uwais Adamjee that reflects the sad reality of many of our students. Often swept under the rug, issues like these rarely ever are addressed, and solutions are never found. Many of society’s problems can be solved if this advice is applied, along with some determination and tawakkul.
At the beginning of 2018, a new child enrolled at a Madrasah. He seemed to be very disturbed. What was really surprising about this boy was his violent behaviour. No child could pass him without being punched, slapped or kicked. The other children in his class were terrified of him.
By the third day, four children left the Madrasah and the Apa (female teacher) was now going crazy in her class. No one could control this boy. He was extremely disturbed and his behaviour was beyond anyone’s control.
By the fourth day, the Apa was ready to hand in her resignation saying,
“Either he remains in the class or I remain. The way things are going, it seems that all the children in the class will leave. Some drastic action has to be taken immediately.”
The poor Apa could not be blamed for this, since most others in a similar situation would have probably done the same.
The principal phoned his mother and asked her if she could come in immediately. When she arrived half an hour later, her son’s behaviour at the Madrasah was spelt out to her. She burst into tears saying,
“I don’t know what to do with him anymore. The school principal expelled him last week. His father has a terrible temper and beats me up at home. He sees his dad behaving in this manner. What you are seeing him doing is an imitation of what he sees his father doing.”
“I’m sorry, we won’t be able to keep him in the Madrasah,” said the principal. “He is going to chase all the students away from here.”
A senior Apa at the Madrasah happened to overhear this conversation. She came forward and said softly,
“How can we send a child away from our Madrasah when he came here to learn the knowledge of Dīn? How will we answer to Allah Ta’ala for this? Let me take him in my class and I will try my best to work with him.”
The next day she took the little boy into her class and made dua to Allah Ta’ala to help her with this child. The first thing the Apa did was contact the mother. She said to her, “We are going to fight this battle together, and we are going to win Insha Allah. But we have to do this together. Are you prepared?” The mother assured her co-operation. The Apa then gave her the following guidelines:
- “Firstly,” said the Apa, “I want you to wake up every night at the time of Tahajjud and make dua for your son. Remember, the duas of a mother are readily accepted. I will also wake up at the time of Tahajjud and make dua for him.”
- “Secondly, I am going to give you a book. It is written by a great Alim, Hadrat Mawlana Muhammad Zakariyya (RA). The name of the book is Fadaail-e-Aamaal. Every night, sit with your son and read to him the Aḥādīth contained in this book. This book contains valuable advice. Reading the Ḥadīth of Rasūlullāh ﷺ in your home will bring about great peace and barakah (blessing) in your home and in your life. Try to practice on whatever you read.”
- “Thirdly, I am going to give you a CD of Hadrat Mawlana Yunus Patel (RA). The CD contains Hadhrat Mawlana’s dhikr. Play the CD at home every night and sit with your son on the muṣallā (prayer mat). With full concentration, make the dhikr of Allah Ta’ala in your home.”
- “Fourthly, I want you to take him to an educational psychologist for an assessment. Due to his unsteady childhood, he may need some medical help as well.”
With the above advice from the Apa, the little boy’s mother undertook the arduous journey with her son to try and rectify the situation. Every night after Ishā Ṣalāh, they sat together reading the advice from Fadaail-e-Amaal and making dhikr of Allah Ta’ala. At the time of Tahajjud, she would awake from her bed and make special dua for her son. Can we imagine the effect of this dua? The dua of a mother and that too, at the time of Tahajjud.
It is six months since that day and the young boy is a completely different child. He sits quietly in his class and learns his sabaq (lesson) every day. He adores his Apa and has all the time in the world for her. His mother says that when he comes home, the only thing he speaks about is “My Apa told me this and my Apa told me that.” He does not speak at all about school or the sports he plays at school. The thing he really enjoys in life is his time at the madrasah.
On the last day of the madrasah term, his Apa bought burgers for all the children in her class as a treat for them. One child commented, “Apa you only bought us a burger. Where is the coke?” The little boy was very upset with this statement. He immediately retorted,
“That’s being ungrateful. You should at least say JazakAllah to Apa for buying us a burger.”
This is the power of a Maktab Apa. Outwardly it may seem that she has only 15 children in front of her whom she can make an effort on, but in reality, she has 15 families before her. She can make that difference in the homes of all these children. That is why our elders tell us that when we sit in the classroom, make niyyah (intention) for the Hidāyah (guidance) of the entire mankind. Who knows that through one child, Allah Ta’ala will cause the winds of Hidāyah to blow on the entire mankind.
In this instance, the Apa managed to introduce ta’līm and dhikr in the home of that child and also got the mother to wake up for Tahajjud daily.
No child is a Write-off. We cannot chase any child away. As a teacher, You can make that difference in the life of that child.
May Allah Ta’ala inspire us all to be an inspiration for our students in the classroom and guide us to be a true reflection of our beloved Messenger ﷺ.
By Uwais Adamjee, South Africa
Islamic Tarbiyah: An education perspective
Tarbiyah of our children
By: Ummu Abdir Rahman
Al-Ihsaan Institute
Tarbiyah is the art of training our human natures appropriately at various levels and in different situations to help in the complete growth of a person’s disposition. In this article we will discuss tarbiyah of our children from an educational perspective.
The following are some practices, which if adopted, would instill a proper routine and method of assisting our children in their school work as well as Maktab and madrasa learning In-sha-Allah.
- For the sake of Allah – Teach your children that everything they do should be done for the pleasure and love of Allah Subhaana wa Ta’ala, in such a way they would not develop of seeking pride over their actions. Rather, their love would grow towards doing actions for Allah’s acceptance, charity, good deeds and humility. This is a discipline which many adults lack. Therefore to have your child grow up with the mind-set and values of seeking Allah’s pleasure in everything, is a foundation every parent would want for the success of their children.
- Set an example: speaking properly –Children are likely to imitate the parents in their behaviour whether that behaviour is unhealthy, damaging or decent, uprigh
t and well-behaved. The minds of children are like sponges, in that they absorb quickly and plentiful. One important aspect to give attention to is that of speaking properly,
with proper grammar and etiquette. If this is implemented from an early age then it makes it easy for your child to adopt grammar skills as well as to display proper mannerism.
- Encourage Reading – Make it a house rule to spend some time reading together whether it is Ta’leem, reading from a book of hadith, learning duas, surah, learning about the stories of the Prophets or Sahabah etc. In this way your child will learn that:
- Reading is important and should be encouraged.
- Family time is something to cherish and make an effort towards.
- The topic being read is important and to be practiced upon.
- There are many lessons that can be learnt from different situations.
- Books are a respectable source of knowledge which we learn from.
- Parents should be involved – When parents keep a positive interest in their child’s schooling, we find the child grasping the many concepts and subjects being taught at school better. Subsequently, they excel at learning. Parents being involved means helping with homework, revision, supervision as well as spending quality time with them. It is particularly important to spend some time doing revision of the day’s lessons to reiterate the concepts learnt, for a better understanding and memorization.
- Proper Time Management – children need predictability, structure and guidelines, as these give them a sense of security and order in the world. By having a routine and time for different things the child would understand that the world is not to be lived in an unruly manner, but there are guidelines and directions to be followed.
- Bedtime – Setting and following a bedtime routine allows sufficient time for the child to rest and rejuvenate for the events of the next day. Without a proper bedtime, we find that children tend to become sleepy and lethargic during the school day. So much so, that learning becomes decelerated and attending school becomes laborious and exhausting for the child.
- Morning Routine – So too, in having a morning routine, the child understands that there is a certain order and time for things to be accomplished. Thus creating a manner of discipline from an early age. The school day is scheduled by order and allotted times, therefore the concept would not be foreign to the child, but instead, they would be already accustomed to organisation and orderliness.
- Extra-Curricular Activities – Get your children involved in after school programs or even weekend programs such as Maktab, exercise, reading club, outdoor sports etc. so that their time is not spent doing unproductive things like watching television or playing video games. Encourage them to become active, thereby working their brains as well as their bodies. This will help them to lead a healthier lifestyle whilst using the favours they have received from Allah Ta’ala beneficially. In that way, they will be able to focus and concentrate better at school and for learning on a whole.
These are just a few guidelines to assist us in making the Tarbiyah of our children a bit easier, whilst executing our duties as parents and eventually reap utmost reward from our Creator In-sha-Allah. May Allah Subhaana wa Ta’ala give us the ability and the guidance to fulfil the rights of our children upon them. Ameen….